I've been reading through Boy Meets Girl again and God has shown me some new things to work on. I've learned that I'm not trusting God with the who, how, and when in my marriage. I want God to tell me who it is, how it will happen, and when it will happen. After all, that only seems logical. I can't follow God unless He tells me who, how, and when, right? Otherwise, I might make a mistake and somehow mess it up.
But I'm making a major error when thinking like that. When I focus on the who, how, and when, then I'm eliminating any room to trust God. If I knew who I would marry, how we'd meet, and when we'd start our relationship, then I wouldn't need God! I actually blogged about this two months ago (Trust: Faith, Hope, & Love), but it's taken a whole new meaning on to me. Everything I wrote is true in Trust: Faith, Hope, & Love, but I've recently realized that there is more to it. Not only am I to trust God with His timing and His planning, but I also need to be content with being single. I need to not be anxious about marriage. I need to think of girls as sisters in Christ instead of potential wives. I must confess: I'm afraid I've made an idol out of marriage. I desire marriage too much. I'm frustrated with being single. I want to be in love. I think of girls as potential wives and not the sisters in Christ they are. Marriage is on my mind all day and I'm always wondering who, how and when. I need to change. But how?
One of my favorite verses is Philippians 4:6-7, which says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." How amazing is this! These two verses have been such a comfort to me. I don't have to be anxious or nervous about anything. I can take my requests to God through prayer and petition. And this is the best part: the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus. Wow.The peace of God. The peace of God transcends all understanding. The peace of God will guard my heart. Now we're on to something.
So it seems to me that if we choose to take our problems and desires to God, then His peace will guard my heart and protect me. And not only that, but according to these verses, it's better to have the peace of God than to have all understanding. And one glance through Proverbs tells us how important wisdom and understanding are. But apparently, it's better to have God's peace than wisdom and understanding.
And this is key if I want to change. I have adopted the prayer of David Tate, a man whose story is told in Boy Meets Girl. I cannot recall his prayer word for word, and since I just loaned my copy of Boy Meets Girl to a friend, I'll just share with you what my prayer is: Father, I don't want to be anxious about this area of my life. I need to know who, just as much as how and when. I want to be content. I want to trust you. I want Your peace, which protects my heart and my mind. Amen.
Remember that our mindset should be that everything should be done to bring glory and attention to God, not ourselves. If we live with this mindset, then we'll learn to trust God. I believe the best thing I can do for my wife right now is to live my life with the purpose of bring all the glory and attention to God. I want to die each day and life for Christ. For me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
Let God write your love story for you. He doesn't need any help; He's the original storyteller. All He asks is that you live your life to bring Him all the glory. Will you do that?
3 comments:
Hi! So I've been reading your blog since we met at Ichthus, but I've never commented before. Don't get me wrong, a lot of your posts have really made me think about God and my relationship with him, but I always felt way too awkward to actually post a comment. When I read this post though, I felt like I sort of had to respond.
Worrying about when and if I'll get married has always been a big issue for me. Like you, I've definitely idolized marriage. I think about my future husband almost every single day. Lately I have been getting better at accepting that if I'm single right now then it's because God wants me to be single right now, but it's still something I struggle with all the time.
Thanks for reminding me that finding peace in God is more important than knowing what's going to happen in the future or who I'm going to marry. Your blog always help me focus on what really matters instead of whatever is distracting me at the moment. So thanks again for all of your posts. I can't wait to read the next one!
Great article! I am so impressed with the article. Cheers!
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You know, maybe you should read Kevin DeYoung's "Just do something", which I read in its Dutch translation a while ago. Whether you completely agree or disagree with what he says, at least it's worth thinking about.
I think that the whole concept of "God has already chosen your future wife" is troubling, because you'll never know who it'll be. Maybe you are completely in love with someone and you believe through and through that she's really the one God meant for you, only to discover later that she wasn't. These things happen.
What I would recommend is something many people will say and you won't take it serious until you've tried yourself ;) Just Be A Happy Single. Really make sure you're convinced that your life would be just fine if you had no partner. Don't get into a relationship because you would feel miserable or failed otherwise. I would advice that you only start a serious relationship with someone because you feel completely comfortable around her, and I think you'd only be comfortable around someone who shares your core beliefs and who you can understand (and who can understand you).
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