Lately, I've been struggling with my pride, entitlement, and selfishness. If you read my post Really Really Small (which I highly doubt, since, though I consider it one of my best posts, has received only three views so far), then you understand. Up until recently, I had the wrong definition of "pride." I always thought pride is another way to say "cocky." I believed it was the I'm-better-than-you attitude; a sense of entitlement. Additionally, I thought pride was assimilated with selfishness, the I'm-too-important-to-serve attitude.
Yes, these are different parts of pride. But I've learned that isn't all that pride means. The prideful are those who inflate their talent or value. I have this attitude. It's the conceited attitude of I'm-so-important-this-church-would-fail-without-me. Yeah, as if I could be the cornerstone of the church, the infallible portion the church is built on. (That's Jesus, by the way. Luke 20:17) It's conceit, plain and simple.
Have you ever felt the same way? I've often felt like I'm Kobe. Whether I'm the smartest in the class or when I feel too important in church, conceit rarely fails to find me in my moments of weakness. It hits especially when I'm dissatisfied. I think, "I could preach so much better than that." Or maybe, "I could teach this class so much better than my teacher." Sinful, right? Right. Talk about stuck on myself. You're probably as surprised as me that God hasn't blasted me with lightning after some of the conceitful thoughts I've had.
I know, I know. I need to work on it. And I am. I've realized that I'm not as big or important as I thought. Check out Really Really Small if you want to see how small, petty, and insignificant we all really are. I've spent a lot of time broken in His presence. I now know what David experienced when he realized his sin and competely humbled Himself before God. I can't stop thinking about how big and wonderful He is.
I'm trading in pride, entitlement, selfishness, and pride for humility, meekness, and a gratefulness for God's everlasting grace.
How has your pride been lately?
Showing posts with label small. Show all posts
Showing posts with label small. Show all posts
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Really really small
For years, my dream was to attend a major university, do something important, and become a household name. I didn’t care too much the money; I just wanted the prestige, pride, the popularity. I wanted to make my name in the world. I’ve always wanted to be the best. I’ve dreamed of playing pro football and basketball. I’ve dreamed of starting a church as famous as Lifechurch. I’ve dreamed of becoming as influential and revered as Billy Graham. Have you ever felt the same way? But there’s a problem.
I am really, really small.
Do you know how small I am? Assume I live the average American life span (seventy-five years). And assume that the world is 6,000 years old. You can also assume that the world will end the same year I die. If so, I will have lived .0125% of time. Now that there’s 99.9875% of time that I’ve never lived. Wow. I feel pretty small. But wait a minute. Some people say that the world is much older than 6,000 years. Let’s assume they’re right. So let’s say that the earth is really one million years old. I would’ve lived .00075% of time. That’s a long time! Imagine how long I haven’t lived on earth. I haven’t lived 99.99925%. I’m starting to get that shrinking feeling again. Why?
Because I’m small. Really, really small.
But guess what? You are small too.
God has always been and always will be. He had no beginning; He will never end. But neither will we. Yes, our earthly lives will end. And, looking at the grand scheme of things, our lives will end very soon. But then eternity begins, either in heaven or hell. Our acceptance or rejection of Christ’s gift here on earth will determine our eternal dwelling place. We could spend eternity, always, separated from God, burning in hell, with no relief, no comfort, no solace. Or we could spend eternity in heaven with Him, worshipping Him, seeing Him, spending eternity with Him.
What do you feel like when you think of eternity? Can you imagine a place without time? A city with no sun, moon, or stars, with a King that is our Light? With streets of gold and gates of pearls and precious jewels? A city with every single Christ-follower who ever lived, and also with all the God-followers of the Old Testament? A city where we’ll be more spirits than bodies, where we won’t have physical limitations?
We are small. We’ll live somewhere between .0125% to .00075% of life. Our story is that short. We’re that irrelevant, inconsequential, insignificant. My story is so tiny and puny that it only needs .0125% to .00075% of time to play out. But what about God’s story?
His story is so big, it takes all of eternity to play out.
Wow. Do you feel as small as I do?
Now back when I was younger, whenever I read something like this post and then felt very small, I wasn’t too happy about it. I didn’t like feeling small, insignificant. I wanted to be as big as Billy Graham, remember? I was set on going to the University of Texas. I wanted the whole world to know my name. Naturally, feeling small felt contrary to my being. Maybe you feel the same way. Perhaps you’re thinking, “LoVizzle, stop it. You’re making me feel small!” Well, I’m not trying to. I don’t want to make you feel small. I want you to realize that you are small.
You’re really, really small.
So have you figured out how little time you really have on earth? Have you thought about how important it is to live every moment for Him? Is it lost on you that the God who is eternal, who exists always, came to earth? I mean, what’s a God like Him doing in our block of the neighborhood? We’re small, petty, miniscule. What do we matter to Him?
Everything.
That same eternal God died for us, too. The One who created us came in the form of a man. He had the same physical limitations we do. Can you imagine having the power and being to breathe stars or create a world in six days, and then being stuck in a human body? There's no way it was fun or cool. I cannot fathom I AM, the creator, star-breather, the everlasting, the source of all power, love, and, well, everything, coming to meet us on our planet in our form and bridging the gap between us and Him by sacrificing Himself; all for love. I am too small, too human, too insignificant to really understand the mind-blowing love God has for us.
Now I may be small, but I know what love is. My God? The everlasting? The all-powerful? The self-sacrificing One? The star-breather? My God is love. That’s my God. He is big. He’s really big.
He’s really, really, really big!
And I’m really, really, really small.
After all God has done for me, is doing, will do, how can I reject Him? How can I let anything stand between me and Him? I can’t wait for heaven, where there won’t be any pain, any troubles, anything to worry about. I can’t wait to live on those gold streets, to walk with Christians from every time and every tribe and nation, and to do absolutely nothing but worship, praise, glorify Him with every small fiber of my being for all of eternity.
What about you?
I am really, really small.
Do you know how small I am? Assume I live the average American life span (seventy-five years). And assume that the world is 6,000 years old. You can also assume that the world will end the same year I die. If so, I will have lived .0125% of time. Now that there’s 99.9875% of time that I’ve never lived. Wow. I feel pretty small. But wait a minute. Some people say that the world is much older than 6,000 years. Let’s assume they’re right. So let’s say that the earth is really one million years old. I would’ve lived .00075% of time. That’s a long time! Imagine how long I haven’t lived on earth. I haven’t lived 99.99925%. I’m starting to get that shrinking feeling again. Why?
Because I’m small. Really, really small.
But guess what? You are small too.
God has always been and always will be. He had no beginning; He will never end. But neither will we. Yes, our earthly lives will end. And, looking at the grand scheme of things, our lives will end very soon. But then eternity begins, either in heaven or hell. Our acceptance or rejection of Christ’s gift here on earth will determine our eternal dwelling place. We could spend eternity, always, separated from God, burning in hell, with no relief, no comfort, no solace. Or we could spend eternity in heaven with Him, worshipping Him, seeing Him, spending eternity with Him.
What do you feel like when you think of eternity? Can you imagine a place without time? A city with no sun, moon, or stars, with a King that is our Light? With streets of gold and gates of pearls and precious jewels? A city with every single Christ-follower who ever lived, and also with all the God-followers of the Old Testament? A city where we’ll be more spirits than bodies, where we won’t have physical limitations?
We are small. We’ll live somewhere between .0125% to .00075% of life. Our story is that short. We’re that irrelevant, inconsequential, insignificant. My story is so tiny and puny that it only needs .0125% to .00075% of time to play out. But what about God’s story?
His story is so big, it takes all of eternity to play out.
Wow. Do you feel as small as I do?
Now back when I was younger, whenever I read something like this post and then felt very small, I wasn’t too happy about it. I didn’t like feeling small, insignificant. I wanted to be as big as Billy Graham, remember? I was set on going to the University of Texas. I wanted the whole world to know my name. Naturally, feeling small felt contrary to my being. Maybe you feel the same way. Perhaps you’re thinking, “LoVizzle, stop it. You’re making me feel small!” Well, I’m not trying to. I don’t want to make you feel small. I want you to realize that you are small.
You’re really, really small.
So have you figured out how little time you really have on earth? Have you thought about how important it is to live every moment for Him? Is it lost on you that the God who is eternal, who exists always, came to earth? I mean, what’s a God like Him doing in our block of the neighborhood? We’re small, petty, miniscule. What do we matter to Him?
Everything.
That same eternal God died for us, too. The One who created us came in the form of a man. He had the same physical limitations we do. Can you imagine having the power and being to breathe stars or create a world in six days, and then being stuck in a human body? There's no way it was fun or cool. I cannot fathom I AM, the creator, star-breather, the everlasting, the source of all power, love, and, well, everything, coming to meet us on our planet in our form and bridging the gap between us and Him by sacrificing Himself; all for love. I am too small, too human, too insignificant to really understand the mind-blowing love God has for us.
Now I may be small, but I know what love is. My God? The everlasting? The all-powerful? The self-sacrificing One? The star-breather? My God is love. That’s my God. He is big. He’s really big.
He’s really, really, really big!
And I’m really, really, really small.
After all God has done for me, is doing, will do, how can I reject Him? How can I let anything stand between me and Him? I can’t wait for heaven, where there won’t be any pain, any troubles, anything to worry about. I can’t wait to live on those gold streets, to walk with Christians from every time and every tribe and nation, and to do absolutely nothing but worship, praise, glorify Him with every small fiber of my being for all of eternity.
What about you?
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