Friday, December 17, 2010

Then School Happened...

This past year, the dice rolled my way and I slowly caught fire for God. I was singing praise songs all the time, reading my Bible multiple times a day, learning how to pray, writing on my blog, and stepping into a leadership role at church, all at the age of 15. Life was great! I even had a best friend who was as on fire as I was, if not more. It's amazing how much that helped! Ecclesiastes 4 says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." When two close friends are both on fire for God, everyone notices. On the other hand, when two close friends lose their fire for God, everyone notices. This summer was one of the greatest times of my life, even though it had its low points. But then school happened.

Looking back on the 2010 Fall semester, I wasted most of it. I had a few high moments, but most moments were low. A good friend made a life-shattering decision, the youth ministry at church has slowly choked itself to death, and things seemed to have been darker, slower, and more frustrating in my life. Life just hasn't been upbeat, awesome, sunny, and unbelievably awesome, like this summer. And I hate that. I miss the summer days filled with great worship music, catchy pop music, staying up till 1 AM reading my Bible, and talking nonstop about God. I miss staying up all night at campfires discussing life with my best friend, or staying up till 3 AM at sleepovers discussing what we've been reading in the Bible lately. Life isn't the same since I lost fire for God. I love having integrity, righteousness, and a pure desire for God's presence so much more than anything else. I just wish I could remember that when it's critical to know that.

So in order to coax the fire back, I'm stretching my limits to read eleven Psalms a day until December 29th, the date I leave for Winter Camp. I started yesterday, and have read some Psalms today. I can already feel the fire beginning to kindle! I love reading of David's righteous anger towards wicked men, and of his pure desire to be in His presence, or of his integrity and holiness. Eleven Psalms a day is a huge task to undertake, but since school is over, I aim to hit this target. I need get back to the place where I'm so into God's word that I stay up till 2 AM. I need to talk with my best friend more about God so we can both get fired up again. I need to get back to place where all I care about is Him.

One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.


Ashlin said...

Thanks! I needed that reminder. What you wrote sorta reminds me! It seems to me that I can let my fire go down without even realizing it. But thank you for the encouragement. I'm lighting my fire -The LORD will be my life!
(I love the verses you posted. I love all of Psalms 27!)

David said...

Man. I've been thinking the same way. I'm wondering how to make life work, what I should be doing to make sure I don't miss out on anything, and I'm acting like everything is up to me. It's not. This post was a wake-up call. Thanks.

LeaningOnHim said...

Thanks for the reminder. Through your struggles - and being transparent about them here - you have inspired me to get back on top of things. I definitely have a similar story. God brought me to a great place with Him and was bringing me closer, until school started and all of a sudden it has been so hard finding a spot for Him in my day. I figured this break was a good way to cool down, not worry about anything. And while that is true, you've reminded me to get back into that relationship with God. Thanks so much!

In Christ,