Do you think that strict rules and rigid regulations help teenagers stay sexually pure? Or do they have the opposite result and instead encourage them to be sexually active?
In my life, I've come across quite a few people who think that oppressive rules somehow will turn children into great adults. However, in the situations I've witnessed, the children just turn out to be rebellious, bitter, and resentful young adults. I have friends who are growing up in environments where their parents- or their pastors or youth pastors- wield iron fists. Do you think that bringing children up with an iron fist will really make them great adults? No, it won't. If fact, it will actually hurt the child more than it will help.
I've heard some crazy stories from fellow teens about how strict some authority figures can be. A friend of mine once went to a church camp where the guys and girls could only swim in the pool at separate times. They weren't even allowed to see the other group in the pool and the adults went out of their way to make sure this didn't happen. They would walk the guys completely around the campus just so they wouldn't see the girls in the pool, and vice versa. And even though the girls never saw the guys swimming, the guys still had to wear shirts in the pool. I also once knew this guy who got in trouble just because he hugged a girl goodbye. Also, I know of one Christian organization that doesn't allow the guys and girls to touch each other. And these aren't teenagers: This is a college-age program. One certain private Christian university even had separate staircases and elevators for each gender. I'll leave it up to you to decide whether or not those insane rules will actually help or not.
So why do these iron-fist-wielding adults do what they do? Why do you think some parents, youth pastors, and pastors can be so strict? I think in a lot of cases, they really do have the child's best interests in mind. I think that they look at verses like 1 Corinthians 6:18, which says, "Flee from sexual immorality...", and they try the best they can to keep their kids away from sexual immorality- even if it means being rigid and oppressive. They honestly just want their kids to be pure, so they go out of their way to ensure that. But I think once you get to the point where young men and women aren't even allowed to touch each other, you've taken it way too far.
In Colossians 2:20-23, Paul wrote, "Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: 'Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!'? These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence." What Paul is saying here is that such strict regulations aren't beneficial. In context, he was referring to some of the laws that the Jewish religious leaders of the day had come up with. Remember how Jesus often got in trouble when He healed someone on the Sabbath, thus "breaking the Sabbath"? That's the type of law Paul is writing about.
Paul says here that since we are new creations, we don't have to abide by the old rules and regulations. We are free in Christ- not that we are free to sin, but we are free from having to follow a list of rules in order to know God. Jesus laid down the new law when He came and died on a cross. Paul says this in Colossians 2:13-15, "When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross."
I look at all of the man-made rules, laws, and traditions that church follows and it just disappoints me how far from Scripture some of them are. For example, a male teenager today is reprimanded because he hugged a girl, yet Jesus forgave an adulteress of her sins and saved her life from capital punishment. Can you see the difference here? Another good example is the belief that people have guardian angels. While it's true that there have been Biblical instances where angels protect humans, the idea that people have personal guardian angels is not supported in Scripture.
I encourage you not to get sucked into believing or following any of these man-made traditions or rules. As Christians, we should look to the Bible to see how to live. We shouldn't base our doctrinal beliefs on what man says or believes- unless it lines up with what the Bible says. Look to the Bible and to the Bible only. If you follow anything that isn't supported or encouraged by Scripture, it isn't of Christ.
Colossians 2:8 says, "See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ."
Monday, February 27, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Purpose in Life
Have you ever wondered what your calling in life is? We know that the purpose of our lives is to bring glory and attention to God, to worship God. But what avenue does God want you to take to fulfill that purpose? God calls some people to be missionaries to foreign countries. He calls some people into the medical field. He calls others to be preachers and teachers of His word. He calls others still to be businessmen and entrepreneurs. He gives some a heart for children and for teenagers. He gives some a heart for worship and expressing that through music. He calls some to be homeschool moms and others to be working moms. He calls some to serve their country though politics, and others to serve in the military.
The possibilities are nearly endless. But I'm not just talking about careers here. I'm talking about a purpose. For example, let's say you teach math at an elementary school. Being a grade school math teacher? That's your career. But investing in the lives of young children and teaching them basic mathematical equations so they will be better equipped for high school, college, and the rest of their lives? That's your purpose. And that kind of purpose is what I'm talking about. A soldier's purpose would be to defend his or her country in times of war and to protect our freedom of our country, and also to promote and ensure peace in times of peace. A doctor's purpose would be to help heal sick people and to prevent disease and injury from happening, and also to educate people on the importance of health and how to stay healthy. A missionary's purpose would be to take the Gospel to places that haven't heard of Jesus and to spread God's word and God's love to those in need.
So what do you think your purpose is? What do you have a heart for? What do you want to spend your life doing? What do you think God might be calling you do to?
To help figure that out, I encourage you to do a lot of self-evaluating. It will take time for you to understand and realize what God's purpose is for your life. It seems that most people figure it out in their teens or early twenties. But that isn't always the case. Some people realize their dream much earlier or much later than that.
The apostle Paul figured his purpose out somewhere around his twenties. In Acts 7:58, it says that Paul was a young man when he was at the stoning of Stephen, and we know that it probably wasn't but a few months after this that he gave his life to Christ and Jesus changed his name from Saul to Paul. It's pretty reasonable to assume he was out of his teenage years, given his power and influence, but wasn't in his thirties yet because he was a "young man." Paul became an evangelist. He traveled around the known world, visiting churches and cities and spreading the Gospel wherever he went. But what exactly was Paul's purpose? What did Paul feel like his God-given purpose was? Was it to preach the Gospel? To train up Christians in their faith? To make glorify God by making tents (which was his profession, Acts 18:2-3)? Actually, we don't have to guess or speculate. Paul tells us specifically what his purpose is. In Colossians 2:2-3, Paul writes, "My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." Paul explains in the previous verse that the "they" he is referring to the church of Colosse, the church of Laodicea, and everyone else in the world.
Anyway, that was Paul's purpose. Paul understood his purpose and devoted his life to fulfilling it. So I ask once again, what do you think your purpose is? It's incredibly important to know your purpose. In the King James Version, Proverbs 29:18 says, "Where there is no vision, the people perish..." Nobody wants to be that guy who's thirty-five years old and spends all of his time playing Modern Warefare 3 in his mom's basement. Get out there and find out what God wants you to do! God designed you as a completely unique and one-of-a-kind individual. Your DNA is different from everyone else's, and there is no one else in the history of the world quite like you. He created you for a purpose and only you can fulfill that purpose. No one else can do it for you or do it in the way you would. You are specially unique.
Psalm 139:14 says, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." You're the only you that will ever exist and your purpose is specifically tailored to meet who you are. Don't waste your life by missing out on that purpose.
The possibilities are nearly endless. But I'm not just talking about careers here. I'm talking about a purpose. For example, let's say you teach math at an elementary school. Being a grade school math teacher? That's your career. But investing in the lives of young children and teaching them basic mathematical equations so they will be better equipped for high school, college, and the rest of their lives? That's your purpose. And that kind of purpose is what I'm talking about. A soldier's purpose would be to defend his or her country in times of war and to protect our freedom of our country, and also to promote and ensure peace in times of peace. A doctor's purpose would be to help heal sick people and to prevent disease and injury from happening, and also to educate people on the importance of health and how to stay healthy. A missionary's purpose would be to take the Gospel to places that haven't heard of Jesus and to spread God's word and God's love to those in need.
So what do you think your purpose is? What do you have a heart for? What do you want to spend your life doing? What do you think God might be calling you do to?
To help figure that out, I encourage you to do a lot of self-evaluating. It will take time for you to understand and realize what God's purpose is for your life. It seems that most people figure it out in their teens or early twenties. But that isn't always the case. Some people realize their dream much earlier or much later than that.
The apostle Paul figured his purpose out somewhere around his twenties. In Acts 7:58, it says that Paul was a young man when he was at the stoning of Stephen, and we know that it probably wasn't but a few months after this that he gave his life to Christ and Jesus changed his name from Saul to Paul. It's pretty reasonable to assume he was out of his teenage years, given his power and influence, but wasn't in his thirties yet because he was a "young man." Paul became an evangelist. He traveled around the known world, visiting churches and cities and spreading the Gospel wherever he went. But what exactly was Paul's purpose? What did Paul feel like his God-given purpose was? Was it to preach the Gospel? To train up Christians in their faith? To make glorify God by making tents (which was his profession, Acts 18:2-3)? Actually, we don't have to guess or speculate. Paul tells us specifically what his purpose is. In Colossians 2:2-3, Paul writes, "My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." Paul explains in the previous verse that the "they" he is referring to the church of Colosse, the church of Laodicea, and everyone else in the world.
Anyway, that was Paul's purpose. Paul understood his purpose and devoted his life to fulfilling it. So I ask once again, what do you think your purpose is? It's incredibly important to know your purpose. In the King James Version, Proverbs 29:18 says, "Where there is no vision, the people perish..." Nobody wants to be that guy who's thirty-five years old and spends all of his time playing Modern Warefare 3 in his mom's basement. Get out there and find out what God wants you to do! God designed you as a completely unique and one-of-a-kind individual. Your DNA is different from everyone else's, and there is no one else in the history of the world quite like you. He created you for a purpose and only you can fulfill that purpose. No one else can do it for you or do it in the way you would. You are specially unique.
Psalm 139:14 says, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." You're the only you that will ever exist and your purpose is specifically tailored to meet who you are. Don't waste your life by missing out on that purpose.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Choosing to Worship God
"Jesus declared, 'Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.'" ~John 4:21-24, (emphasis mine).
I have often said that the purpose of our lives is to glorify and bring attention to God. In short, that essentially means to live a life that pleases Him. It means to live a life that praises Him. It means to live a life that worships Him.
Now you may be thinking, Hold on, I thought worship was that style of music we play in church? Not exactly. See, in America we've taken something that's supposed to be a lifestyle and turned it into a form of music. We look at people like Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman, and David Crowder and we call them "worship leaders" just because they lead us in songs of worship. We look at the songs they write and call them "worship songs." But is that really what "worship" is? It's a style of music? No, it's not. And that should make sense, right? Because if the purpose of our lives is to worship Him, then the only way we'd be able to do that is to sing worship songs continuously until we die or until we lose our voices. And that definitely isn't what Jesus meant.
So then what is worship? According to the dictionary, worship means "to show profound religious devotion and respect to; to be devoted to; to have or express feelings or profound adoration; to honor." In other words, what you worship is what you live for. To worship something is to be committed to it above all else. To worship something means to honor it above all else. It means to be devoted to something more than anything else. When you worship something, you deem it more important than anything else in the world.
That's how you worship God. You honor Him above all else. You revere Him above all else. You respect God more than anyone else. You're committed to Him more than to anything else. You're devoted to Him more than to anything else. You love Him more than anything or anyone else.
Now the thing is that God isn't the only thing we can worship. We can worship other things in place of God. Instead of worshipping my Father, I can choose to worship myself. I can choose to worship money, power, romance, sex, my reputation, a religion, the approval of others, a sport, a career, a person, or any other thing in my life. That isn't what God wants; He wants us to worship Him. But He is so loving that He allows us to choose what we worship. God doesn't wind us up like little robots to show Him love and affection; that isn't true love! He gives us the freedom of choice because He wants our worship to be true and authentic. And so He gives us a choice. We can worship God or we can worship something else.
Now of course, should we choose to worship something or someone other than our Creator, there is a price. When we alienate ourselves from God, then we're choosing to be lost. We're choosing to belong to Satan. We're choosing to spend eternity separated from God, burning in hell. We're choosing to be spiritually blind, deaf, and dumb. We're choosing to be spiritually naked.
Psalm 115:4-8 says, "But their idols are silver and gold, made by the hands of men. They have mouths, but cannot speak, eyes, but they cannot see; they have ears, but cannot hear, noses, but they cannot smell; they have hands, but cannot feel, feet, but they cannot walk; nor can they utter a sound with their throats. Those who make them will be like them, and so will all who trust in them." Those who make them will be life them, and so will all who trust in them. Wow. So when you choose to worship something or someone other than the God of Israel, you are choosing to be like the false idols described here. When you choose to trust in, to honor, to be committed to, to revere something or someone besides my God, you are choosing to be spiritually mute, blind, and deaf. You're choosing to not be able to smell, to feel, to walk, or to speak. The Bible says that those who don't follow Christ are spiritually dead. That sounds like an accurate description to describe someone who worships a false idol. When you worship something besides God, you're choosing to not be alive. You're choosing death over life.
So then, the opposite is also true. When you worship the one true God, you're choosing to be able to speak, see, hear, smell, feel, and walk. You're choosing to be alive and to be free. You're choosing to put your hope in Someone who has your best interests at heart. You're choosing to trust in the One who created the heavens and the earth, and to entrust your life in the hands of the One who died for you. You're choosing to follow the One who has plans for you, who will give you a hope and a future, and who has plans for you to prosper and not to come to harm.
God offers all this freely. We don't have to do anything to earn this gift, and it's available to anyone who asks. But of course, you can't receive this gift and continue to live life in the dark. You can't become spiritually alive and still live like you're dead. I mentioned earlier that the Bible says that before you follow Christ, you are spiritually dead. It also says that when you follow Christ, you are born again in the Spirit of God and are a new creation, a new person! In Romans 8, Paul covers extensively how when you're a child of God and born in the Spirit, you'll live according to the Spirit; you'll be living to please God. And when you are controlled by the sinful nature, when you aren't a Christian, then you won't be living to please God.
In Romans 12:1, Paul says, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship." Did you catch that? Our spiritual act of worship is to offer our bodies as living sacrifices to God. That means our spiritual act of worship is to continuously deny ourselves to do His will, to please Him, to worship Him. Romans 8:13-14 says, "For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God."
The purpose of our lives is to bring glory and attention to God. The purpose of our lives is to worship God. What are you worshipping?
I have often said that the purpose of our lives is to glorify and bring attention to God. In short, that essentially means to live a life that pleases Him. It means to live a life that praises Him. It means to live a life that worships Him.
Now you may be thinking, Hold on, I thought worship was that style of music we play in church? Not exactly. See, in America we've taken something that's supposed to be a lifestyle and turned it into a form of music. We look at people like Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman, and David Crowder and we call them "worship leaders" just because they lead us in songs of worship. We look at the songs they write and call them "worship songs." But is that really what "worship" is? It's a style of music? No, it's not. And that should make sense, right? Because if the purpose of our lives is to worship Him, then the only way we'd be able to do that is to sing worship songs continuously until we die or until we lose our voices. And that definitely isn't what Jesus meant.
So then what is worship? According to the dictionary, worship means "to show profound religious devotion and respect to; to be devoted to; to have or express feelings or profound adoration; to honor." In other words, what you worship is what you live for. To worship something is to be committed to it above all else. To worship something means to honor it above all else. It means to be devoted to something more than anything else. When you worship something, you deem it more important than anything else in the world.
That's how you worship God. You honor Him above all else. You revere Him above all else. You respect God more than anyone else. You're committed to Him more than to anything else. You're devoted to Him more than to anything else. You love Him more than anything or anyone else.
Now the thing is that God isn't the only thing we can worship. We can worship other things in place of God. Instead of worshipping my Father, I can choose to worship myself. I can choose to worship money, power, romance, sex, my reputation, a religion, the approval of others, a sport, a career, a person, or any other thing in my life. That isn't what God wants; He wants us to worship Him. But He is so loving that He allows us to choose what we worship. God doesn't wind us up like little robots to show Him love and affection; that isn't true love! He gives us the freedom of choice because He wants our worship to be true and authentic. And so He gives us a choice. We can worship God or we can worship something else.
Now of course, should we choose to worship something or someone other than our Creator, there is a price. When we alienate ourselves from God, then we're choosing to be lost. We're choosing to belong to Satan. We're choosing to spend eternity separated from God, burning in hell. We're choosing to be spiritually blind, deaf, and dumb. We're choosing to be spiritually naked.
Psalm 115:4-8 says, "But their idols are silver and gold, made by the hands of men. They have mouths, but cannot speak, eyes, but they cannot see; they have ears, but cannot hear, noses, but they cannot smell; they have hands, but cannot feel, feet, but they cannot walk; nor can they utter a sound with their throats. Those who make them will be like them, and so will all who trust in them." Those who make them will be life them, and so will all who trust in them. Wow. So when you choose to worship something or someone other than the God of Israel, you are choosing to be like the false idols described here. When you choose to trust in, to honor, to be committed to, to revere something or someone besides my God, you are choosing to be spiritually mute, blind, and deaf. You're choosing to not be able to smell, to feel, to walk, or to speak. The Bible says that those who don't follow Christ are spiritually dead. That sounds like an accurate description to describe someone who worships a false idol. When you worship something besides God, you're choosing to not be alive. You're choosing death over life.
So then, the opposite is also true. When you worship the one true God, you're choosing to be able to speak, see, hear, smell, feel, and walk. You're choosing to be alive and to be free. You're choosing to put your hope in Someone who has your best interests at heart. You're choosing to trust in the One who created the heavens and the earth, and to entrust your life in the hands of the One who died for you. You're choosing to follow the One who has plans for you, who will give you a hope and a future, and who has plans for you to prosper and not to come to harm.
God offers all this freely. We don't have to do anything to earn this gift, and it's available to anyone who asks. But of course, you can't receive this gift and continue to live life in the dark. You can't become spiritually alive and still live like you're dead. I mentioned earlier that the Bible says that before you follow Christ, you are spiritually dead. It also says that when you follow Christ, you are born again in the Spirit of God and are a new creation, a new person! In Romans 8, Paul covers extensively how when you're a child of God and born in the Spirit, you'll live according to the Spirit; you'll be living to please God. And when you are controlled by the sinful nature, when you aren't a Christian, then you won't be living to please God.
In Romans 12:1, Paul says, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship." Did you catch that? Our spiritual act of worship is to offer our bodies as living sacrifices to God. That means our spiritual act of worship is to continuously deny ourselves to do His will, to please Him, to worship Him. Romans 8:13-14 says, "For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God."
The purpose of our lives is to bring glory and attention to God. The purpose of our lives is to worship God. What are you worshipping?
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Commitment in Romance
Have you ever thought about what it'd be like to fall in love? Chances are, if you've gone through puberty, you've given a lot of thought to what it would be like to fall in love. I know that I have. I love to daydream about falling in love. I fantasize about picnics in the park, strolling in the moonlight, and going on fancy dates. I dream about going to dances, talking late into the night by the fire, and buying her nice gifts. I can't wait to share my heart, my body, and my life with my wife one day. And if you're old enough to understand what I'm saying, you probably have spent a fair amount of time daydreaming about your own love story. I don't think there's a teenager out there who's never thought about what it'd be like to be married. I think it's also fair to say we often dream about what kind of spouse we'd like to have.
But do we ever stop and think about what kind of spouse we want to be?
As a young man, what kind of leader do I want to be? How can I lead my wife and my children in a Christlike way? What kind of husband do I want to be? What kind of father will I turn out to be? In what way do I want to be the spiritual leader of my family? How do I lead my wife and children towards Christ? Do I want to have family Bible studies or devotionals? And what expectations will I have for my children to attend church? What about my priorities in life? Will I make my family more important than work or church? What will I prioritize as a husband and dad? Would I be the type of father who always chooses work over my son's baseball games? And how do I want to raise my kids? What kind of role model do I want to be for them? How can servant leadership apply to my role as a husband and a father?
For the young women out there, you need to be asking yourself questions like, What kind of wife and mother do I want to be? How can I support my husband and help him grow closer to the Lord? Am I okay with the fact that my husband is the God-ordained leader of the family? Am I humble enough to let him make the final decisions? And also, where do I find my identity? How do I define my self-worth? In my beauty, my husband, my wealth, my accomplishments, my Savior? And what do I want my priorities to be in life? Who and what is most important to me? And what kind of relationships do I want with my husband and my children? What parenting style do I want to use? How do I want to raise my kids? What kind of role model do I want to be? What school environment do I want them raised in? Home school? Public school? Private school? And what kind of church do I want to raise them in? A big church? Small church? Comtemporary church? Traditional church? How can I apply servant leadership to my role as a wife and as a mother?
I know I'm not far off from being old enough to be in a relationship, so I've been giving some serious thought to what kind of husband and lover I want to be. I've decided that I want to be a servant leader in my romance. I want to lead my wife with patience, kindness, humility, respect, selflessness, forgiveness, honesty, and commitment. I want to be a Godly husband and a Godly father. I want to learn what it means to love my wife in the way Christ loves the church. I want to know what God expects of me as a husband and as a father. I want to know how I can love my wife romantically in the way God wants.
I think it all starts with commitment. I want to be committed to my future wife now. I want my actions and behaviors as a single teenager to show my future wife that since I was committed to her before marriage, she can trust that I am committed to her in marriage. How can I do that? By saving my virginity until marriage. By not giving a part of my heart away to other girls before I give it all away to her at the altar. By making God my top priority in life. By using my single years to glorify my God. By making the most of my life now so that I'll know how to make the most of my life when I'm married to her.
I want to be a committed, faithful, and loyal husband. I want my integrity and honor to be unquestionable. I know of Christian husbands who have earned the full trust of their wives. Their wives don't worry about them sleeping with another woman when they go on business trips. Their wives don't have to wonder if they sleep with coworkers or if they view pornography. I want to be one of those men. I want to have earned my wife's trust. I want my integrity to be such that my wife never has to wonder if I'm cheating on her. I don't want my wife to ever wonder if my love for her has wavered. I don't want her to have to second-guess my loyalties. I want my commitment to be unquestionable.
Proverbs 20:6 has become something of a theme song for me lately. It says, "Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?" I want to be that faithful man. I want the level of my commitment and loyalty to my wife and my children to be so high that it's rare. I don't want to be another guy who professes his love for a woman, but then divorces her for a younger skirt after ten years of marriage. I want the words "I love you" to mean something to my wife. I want her to know that my feelings and my commitment is serious. I want her to know that she is worth a Godly and faithful husband.
I have made a few commitments for my future wife. I have committed to save my first kiss until the altar. I want my first kiss to come after the words, "You may now kiss the bride", because since I know it's wrong to kiss a woman who isn't my wife when I'm married, then I believe I shouldn't kiss a woman who isn't my wife when I'm not married. I want my first kiss to mean something. I'm also saving my virginity until marriage. I want my wife to know she is so special that I was willing to wait all those years before I had sex. I want her to know I saved myself for her because I wanted to honor her and to do something very special for her. And I also want to show that I was patient enough to wait, and that I decided to obey God's commands on sexual purity. And I've also decided that I don't want to tell my girl that I love her until the altar. I really, really want those three words to mean something. By saving those words, I want her to know how much I cherish, value, and respect her. I want her to know that I'm that faithful man who is hard to find.
By saving my kisses, my body, and the words "I love you" until I'm married, I want to show my God, my wife, and everyone else that my commitment means something. I want my wife to know and to trust that when I tell her I love her, I mean it. I want her to know that when I kiss her, she is very special and valuable to me. And when we have sex, I want her to know that she is worth waiting for.
That's the kind of leader I want to be in my marriage. What kind of leader do you want to be?
But do we ever stop and think about what kind of spouse we want to be?
As a young man, what kind of leader do I want to be? How can I lead my wife and my children in a Christlike way? What kind of husband do I want to be? What kind of father will I turn out to be? In what way do I want to be the spiritual leader of my family? How do I lead my wife and children towards Christ? Do I want to have family Bible studies or devotionals? And what expectations will I have for my children to attend church? What about my priorities in life? Will I make my family more important than work or church? What will I prioritize as a husband and dad? Would I be the type of father who always chooses work over my son's baseball games? And how do I want to raise my kids? What kind of role model do I want to be for them? How can servant leadership apply to my role as a husband and a father?
For the young women out there, you need to be asking yourself questions like, What kind of wife and mother do I want to be? How can I support my husband and help him grow closer to the Lord? Am I okay with the fact that my husband is the God-ordained leader of the family? Am I humble enough to let him make the final decisions? And also, where do I find my identity? How do I define my self-worth? In my beauty, my husband, my wealth, my accomplishments, my Savior? And what do I want my priorities to be in life? Who and what is most important to me? And what kind of relationships do I want with my husband and my children? What parenting style do I want to use? How do I want to raise my kids? What kind of role model do I want to be? What school environment do I want them raised in? Home school? Public school? Private school? And what kind of church do I want to raise them in? A big church? Small church? Comtemporary church? Traditional church? How can I apply servant leadership to my role as a wife and as a mother?
I know I'm not far off from being old enough to be in a relationship, so I've been giving some serious thought to what kind of husband and lover I want to be. I've decided that I want to be a servant leader in my romance. I want to lead my wife with patience, kindness, humility, respect, selflessness, forgiveness, honesty, and commitment. I want to be a Godly husband and a Godly father. I want to learn what it means to love my wife in the way Christ loves the church. I want to know what God expects of me as a husband and as a father. I want to know how I can love my wife romantically in the way God wants.
I think it all starts with commitment. I want to be committed to my future wife now. I want my actions and behaviors as a single teenager to show my future wife that since I was committed to her before marriage, she can trust that I am committed to her in marriage. How can I do that? By saving my virginity until marriage. By not giving a part of my heart away to other girls before I give it all away to her at the altar. By making God my top priority in life. By using my single years to glorify my God. By making the most of my life now so that I'll know how to make the most of my life when I'm married to her.
I want to be a committed, faithful, and loyal husband. I want my integrity and honor to be unquestionable. I know of Christian husbands who have earned the full trust of their wives. Their wives don't worry about them sleeping with another woman when they go on business trips. Their wives don't have to wonder if they sleep with coworkers or if they view pornography. I want to be one of those men. I want to have earned my wife's trust. I want my integrity to be such that my wife never has to wonder if I'm cheating on her. I don't want my wife to ever wonder if my love for her has wavered. I don't want her to have to second-guess my loyalties. I want my commitment to be unquestionable.
Proverbs 20:6 has become something of a theme song for me lately. It says, "Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?" I want to be that faithful man. I want the level of my commitment and loyalty to my wife and my children to be so high that it's rare. I don't want to be another guy who professes his love for a woman, but then divorces her for a younger skirt after ten years of marriage. I want the words "I love you" to mean something to my wife. I want her to know that my feelings and my commitment is serious. I want her to know that she is worth a Godly and faithful husband.
I have made a few commitments for my future wife. I have committed to save my first kiss until the altar. I want my first kiss to come after the words, "You may now kiss the bride", because since I know it's wrong to kiss a woman who isn't my wife when I'm married, then I believe I shouldn't kiss a woman who isn't my wife when I'm not married. I want my first kiss to mean something. I'm also saving my virginity until marriage. I want my wife to know she is so special that I was willing to wait all those years before I had sex. I want her to know I saved myself for her because I wanted to honor her and to do something very special for her. And I also want to show that I was patient enough to wait, and that I decided to obey God's commands on sexual purity. And I've also decided that I don't want to tell my girl that I love her until the altar. I really, really want those three words to mean something. By saving those words, I want her to know how much I cherish, value, and respect her. I want her to know that I'm that faithful man who is hard to find.
By saving my kisses, my body, and the words "I love you" until I'm married, I want to show my God, my wife, and everyone else that my commitment means something. I want my wife to know and to trust that when I tell her I love her, I mean it. I want her to know that when I kiss her, she is very special and valuable to me. And when we have sex, I want her to know that she is worth waiting for.
That's the kind of leader I want to be in my marriage. What kind of leader do you want to be?
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