When I hear the word honor, I first think of medieval knights. I think of how they valued things like honor and valor. These guys live and died, fought and killed for their own honor, and to honor the king they fought for. Their lives were based on honor. Everything revolved around honor. They would act only if it would bring honor and glory to the king or lord that they served. It was everything to them.
I don't think it is much different when it comes to relationships. And that's why honor is the third quality of servant romance. Honor has to be one of the key qualities in your relationships, or else the relationship will fail. And why is that? Why is honor so important? As a friend of mine once told me, if you can't honor someone, you can't love them. It's important because if you are constantly dishonoring the other person, you're basically committing relationship suicide.
I think that almost everything about a relationship should revolve around honor. If what you do is honoring, then it's good. But if it's dishonoring, then don't do it. Think about it. Things like being sexually active, viewing pornography, or even gossiping are dishonoring to the person you are in a relationship with. It degrades and dishonors them. If you have sex with someone, not only is that dishonoring to that person, it is blatant disregard for God. And if you gossip about someone or if you're mean to someone, that's dishonoring to them because it isn't respectful.
I think that honor is basically respect on steroids. Remember that respect means to treat others as important people and to treat others how you want to be treated. Honor basically means to have high regard and respect for someone. It takes respect to a whole new level. To honor someone is to go above and beyond simple respect.
I am trying to honor my future wife as much as possible, even though I'm single and have no idea who she is yet. I know that being a husband is a big job and it takes a lot of work, so I take my education, my job, and my leadership roles very seriously because I want to be ready for it. I do things like choose to stay sexually pure in mind, heart, and body because I want to honor her in that way. I want to show her my loyalty and my love by not only staying faithful during marriage, but before it.
I want to show respect for my future wife now by being faithful. I want to honor her by growing up to be a young man that she deserves. But I don't even know who she is yet. So what about the people that I already know? How can I honor my friends, my co-workers, my teachers, my superiors at work, and even those I don't get along with? I try to treat others the way I want to be treated. That's just important to me that I do that. The Bible tells us to do it, so it's important to me. And I don't know how you feel, but I want to be honored by my peers. I want to be honored and respected, so I try to treat other people that way. It doesn't always happen because I'm human and I make mistakes, but it's something to strive for.
In Luke 6:31, Jesus says, "Do to others as you would have them do to you." I think this is what it all comes down to. Treat others in the way you want to be treated. I want people to be patient with me. I want them to be kind to me. I want my friends to be humble, and not prideful. I want them to have respect for me. I want them to be selfless, thinking of others before themselves. I want others to be forgiving of me when I mess up. I want them to be honest with me, because I hate being lied to. And I want them to be committed to our relationship. If these are the things I want from other people, then this is what I should expect from myself. I want to be a servant leader. And honoring other people is a key part of that.
What if we became knights of honor? What if we started to fight for honor in the same way that medieval knights did? How different would our relationships be if we valued honor as much as knights did? I challenge you to learn to honor your friends, family, and everyone else in your life. Extend your servant leadership to include honor. Honor others in the way you want to be honored. Fight for honor like a knight.
Romans 12:10 says, "Honor one another above yourselves."