When we talk about modesty, more often than not, we are talking about appropriate clothing for women. Modest is the term we use when we talk about appropriate or inappropriate clothing. If we think an outfit is appropriate, then we say it is modest. But if we think an outfit shows too much skin, we call it immodest. However, this isn't all that modesty means. Yes, it does have to do with proper clothing, but like all other things in the Bible, what's inside matters more than what's outside.
Modesty is important because it is about the condition of your heart. Without modesty, your relationships won't function in a Godly manner. If your heart is not modest, then pride and arrogance and selfishness will be your downfall. If you want your friendships and your relationships to be Godly and Christlike, then you have to approach them with humility and you have to commit to purity. If you want servant romance, you have to have a modest heart.
So is your heart modest? I think to answer that question, we need to know what it means to be modest. One definition of modest in the dictionary says, "having a moderate estimate of oneself." Another definition says, "free from taint of sex." And yet another says, "not making excessive claims about oneself." I believe that to be modest means to have humility and purity. I think that to be modest means you are humble and authentic, and free from impurity.
Modesty isn't just about clothing. It all comes down to your heart. It's about the character of your heart; it's about your principles, your purity, and your attitude. When we talk about modesty, we shouldn't just be talking about whether or not someone is showing too much skin. The focus should be more on the heart than the skin. As important as it is to dress appropriately, even evil women can dress appropriately. I have met women who hide very twisted and dark hearts behind a very lovely and attractive exterior. The emphasis has to be on the heart, because physical appearances can and will lead us astray.
1 Samuel 16:7 says, "But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.'" Isn't this so true? Man looks at the outward appearance. We look at people and judge them by appearances or impressions. We tend to overlook the content of their heart. But the Lord looks at the heart. He doesn't look at the things we look at. And that's why it is so dangerous to get caught up in appearances: they don't matter to God. He looks at the heart.
And because we as Christians should be pursuing Christ, we too should look at the heart. We should avoid making judgments by appearances and impressions, because these do not matter to God. The character and content of your heart are what matters.