Sunday, September 19, 2010

Why Did I Kiss Dating Good-bye?

A dating relationship can be a wonderful thing. A boy and a girl share crushes, and the two become inseparable lovebirds. I have been in two of these relationships. In each one, I fell in love with the girl. Perhaps, though, an advanced crush would explain my emotions better. In the first relationship, the girl flat out told me she didn't ever want to be my friend again. This came after three months of a wonderful friendship that, although we weren't "dating", we were very close and went on many family "dates." In the second relationship, we mutually broke up to focus on friendship and grow closer as friends, not lovers. However, because of her veiled actions, we no longer talk and she has yet to explain why she doesn't care anymore. 

The second relationship came nine months after the first ended, and the second relationship ended eight months ago. In each circumstance, the girl decided to no longer want any form of relationship with me. On top of this, neither bother to explain this detail. How convenient! I went on for months after each disbanding with no clue why the break up happened or why my previous best friend now seemingly hated me. 

Through the pain and hurt I experienced in these relationships, I have realized that Biblical courtship is a much better plan than traditional teen dating. I had a firsthand experience in the reality of teenage dating relationships, and now I don’t agree with them or support them. Courtship is the path I choose to find my future wife. I'm waiting until I am old enough for marriage to do so. I chose to wise up and live a life higher than the average teenager. Because of my tarnished relationships, I realized that I wasn’t living completely for Jesus, and that I had other things ahead of Him in my priority list. Now I choose to live completely for Jesus. I decided to kiss dating good-bye because of the pain, drama, and distaste it has given me. 

Looking back, I realize that I could have foreseen my relationship issues and avoided them. The pain I went through was my fault, in some ways. Both situations were avoidable, but I let it happen. I had not the wisdom to foresee what troubles I allowed myself into. I won’t make the same mistake twice. I love romance, but I won’t allow myself to fall into another predictable and pointless dating relationship again. I’ve set up defenses in order to guard my heart from more pain, and I’m able to control myself when I do have a crush. My friend David and I are holding each other accountable to not date. I personally know that dating turns me into a reprobate person, someone I choose to not be. While many pretty girls have taken a liking to either of us, David and I recognize the squalid results of dating and choose to refrain from it's precarious ways. 

One day, I will meet a girl who will break down my defenses and win my heart. I can’t wait to fall in love, and am waiting for that day to come!


Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your decision to guard your heart! I have also decided not to date with my parents supporting me. The best way to prepare for a beautiful love story is to fall in love with Jesus Christ :)


Jennifer said...

I too have made that decision, and I've never been in a relationship before. It is hard sometimes, but I think it will be pretty worth it someday. :)

Ashley said...

Excellent choice. In truth, I've been in a relationship with my best friend before and I was the one that ended up breaking it off. I realized that there was nothing God glorifying about it. It was consuming my time, energy and thoughts. And like my English teacher (I learn a lot more from him than English) says, "Think about Philippians 4:8, it says 'whatever is right, lovely pure...think on these things' instead of saying 'whats wrong with it?' ask 'whats RIGHT with it?'" That's is some gooooood advice from my teacher. There were things about our relationship that were wrong! But even if there weren't we need to ask "What's RIGHT with it?" "What pleasure is the Lord gaining from my doing/thinking/saying this?" That is why I kissed that relationship goodbye and I will (with God's help) do that in the future until I am ready to marry....which will probably be a while. Till then, my goal is to have eyes only for Jesus Christ and serve Him whole-heartedly and un-distracted. I'm glad you have made the decision you have. Stick with it!